as well as a little bit more than coincidental when i logged on to lj today & discoverd in two more days it would mark 3 years of me not using this silly thing .
It's kind of fun to read everything & see how much shit has changed ...

Too bad i can't really figure out who the fuck i'm talking about .
Three Years ago ... Freshman year . Good fuckin' times, man ... Good times .


Jeez now i'm so different .
We all are .
Fake , phonies , sell outs & whores .
& To think the innocence that surrounded us back then ...

Yeah, right .

I haven't been on livejournal in forever && a day, I just check up on my friends. Make sure they are all still sane. Lol.

Halloween was cool, I payed for liqour, and didn't get drunk, but life goes on.
Had a fun, naughty night.

Wish I could get the pictures from Katie Bear though, ahh well...

So i had a sick ass night/morning on Saturday/Sunday.
Slept, uh, nowhere...
I was in Kendall, pretty much, without a care in the world.
Then came to 34th.

Oh god, that night was so insane.
The gas problems, the money..or rather, the lack of.
The people, the hotel, the bathroom, the cold..Oh the cold.


Cold + Ecstacy = BAD!

That was pretty annoying. But.. i had a GREAT NIGHT. my mouth still hurts from the lockjaw/chattering teeth.


Ahh. Can't wait till this Saturday, then this monday.
God, I love my friends.

last night went father than i expectd.
i wasn't thinking about anyone but him.

god.


so tonight is homecoming.

Party Like ah motherfucking Rockstahr!



See most of yah at the after party then?

So guys.
I hope your week wasn't half as great as mine.


I've had so many different "sit-down, and take a good look at everything around you" talks.

I'm so sick of people making assumtions about me.
I'm so sick of people thinking I'm a heartless bitch.
I'm not, I don't care what you say.

Don't fucking tell me how I act.


I know I'm a fuck up.
I never asked you to forgive me.
I honestly didn't know.
I didn't know.
You can choose to believe that or not, but I wouldn't lie about that.
I wouldn't.
&& I am SO sorry it happened.
&& I am SO sorry you got hurt.
But I can't change the past, I wish I could. But I can't.
I'm not asking you to forgive me.
I'm asking you to believe me.
I'm not trying to get into your head.
I'm just trying to let you know I'm honestly and truely sorry that you got hurt.

I'll always try my hardest to be there for everyone.
Believe it or not.
I love all of you.
Kick or push me, It doesn't matter.
I'm just that kind of person.

I'll be treated like shit for reasons I'm not aware of.
&& I'll freak out.
&& I'll try and fix it.
I'll try my fucking hardest.

&& Hey, if you decide to pretend like nothing happened.
So will I.



I know I'm not perfect.
&& I don't live to be.
But before you start pointing fingers...
Make sure your hands are clean.

this is going to work in my favor.
it better.

I have so many jumbled thoughts in my head && no way to make sense of them.


I don't know what to do with you.
'Cause you...
don't know what you do to me...


So, i've completely lost it.

I can't remember the last time I was really at such a loss for words around someone.
God only knows how I remember to breathe.

This whole fucking "Crush" nonsense takes me back to fucking middle school.
&& Idk how hard I tried to get away from that nonsense.



It's like they are both unattanable, but the other one I perfer to admire from afar.

<3

Counting down the days till Halloween.
I hate dealing with retarded bullshit.
&& this stupid kidd.
ugh.

yeah, that was a mistake.
it shouldn't have happened.
but it did.
and now i have to live with it.


but whatever.
can't wait till wednesday.


yes, i'm sprung.
whatever.
it happens.

hasn't happened to me in such a long time...
&& when it finally does, it's with someone that I can only admire from afar.


oh yay.
could my week get any worse?


i lie, it probably could.

jkjkjk
lololol
I heart your fucking makeup
Omg i love your hair.
Is that a new tattoo?
Did that piercing fucking hurt?
No, jkjkjk
lololol.


I am so fucking tired.

jesus.
i was on the phone till two in morning.
being moral support.
and now im exhausted.

gahh!
i need sleep.

Alright.
Now I'm just going to shut up, sit down and get the fcuk over it.


I could probably get a good 50, maybe 60 dollars if I sold my feelings.

That'd be great.
Then i'd feel no crushes, no anger, no upsetness.


Sounds good to me.
I could live without the Happy and the excited and whatnot.

I don't get to feel them enough anyways.

i lied.

for it to be awkward, we'd have to speak to each other.
instead, i got ignored.


YES!
>>

I hate men.